The Lonely ‘I’ in every ‘We’


‘We’ are together, ‘We’ are in a Relationship, and ‘We’ are in a Love, people often use sentences like these. Most of them use it at regular intervals and few of them are courageous enough to use it once or twice in their life.

For me, ‘We’ is the most exposed synonym for Sacrifice. ‘We’ is the most appropriate word that can give meaning to togetherness. This word ‘We’ has so much hidden inside it that we can never figure out the actual meaning of it. Online Dictionary says ‘We’ is the word used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people considered together. But practical life is on the other side of the coin. Are ‘We’ together, really?

The word ‘We’ can be equated with ‘I+I’. Two persons can together form a We. It is like the mathematical situation where two negatives combine to form a positive. This word ‘I’ is quite opposite to ‘We’, ‘I’ represents alone where ‘We’ represents accompany. ‘I’ can be used for an individual and ‘We’ cannot be used for the same. If they are that opposite then how is it possible that two ‘I’s’ form a ‘We’?

‘I’ is selfish, it just thinks of itself. ‘We’ can’t be selfish, it puts a break on thoughts and decides the best for both the individuals. Wow, is this word so pure that it does some magic and make people care for each other. Is it that powerful that it can actually make two selfish ‘I’s’ think of each other before thinking about themselves as an individual? The answer is very simple. Yes, it is that powerful.

Now the obvious question that arises is- If this ‘We’ is that powerful than why relationships break? What makes this ‘We’ weaker? What adulterates such a pure word? What makes this strong bond powerless?

Answers to these questions are very complicated.  The first culprit is ‘Past’. Everyone has a past. ‘Past’ is something that forms the person we are at present. Past can be nasty or past can be a beautiful journey. It does not matter what is your past, but if you have a non-rainbow past, your ‘We’ of present is weaker. It is powerless. But how?

Ever heard of this word called Compatibility? Can anyone tell me why people feel incompatible with someone and feel compatible with the other one? The answer is hidden in Past. Past forms the person you are at present and there are no chances that the two persons have experienced the same things in their past. If the past is different, than apparently we are left with two mismatching ‘I’s’ and a powerless relationship.

There are these lonely two ‘I’s’ and irony is that their past taught them that do not trust anyone easily. It taught them not to love anyone, not to let your feelings and emotions control you, and so many other things that I can’t even list. People learn lessons, so do our lonely ‘I’s’. They learn different lessons and they know that the other person can’t understand what they do, which apparently gives birth to distances, and relationships break. Two brains can’t think the same way but two hearts do beat the same way. However, one of the lessons is ‘Do not think with heart and think with the brain.’

People feel lonely in a relationship because the other person cannot understand them. They bottle up everything in their heart. Don’t do that. If there is something in your brain, speak it out. Let the other partner know what you feel and what you think. The cure to this venom is ‘Sharing’ and ‘Understanding’. Share what you feel and understand what the other partner shares. This sounds difficult but once you implement it in your life, it can actually make your life easy.

Other thing you can do is, do not implement the lessons you learnt from past. Learn in your present and learn from that person that forms a ‘We’ with you. Life will be easy and beautiful.

Good Night.

-Himanshu Chhabra

 

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