“Life begins, where Fear ends” – this wonderful quote by Osho, conveys the secret of entire universe within these numbered words. Fear, is an emotion that has the power to destroy, and the power to limit. We all have our own fears that we experience in some or the other way. But amongst those varied fears, there are three such fears that dominate lives of not one but many – The fear of being judged, The fear of losing, and The fear of uncertain future.
We often find ourselves struggling with the fear of being judged. But when I say being judged, I intend to talk about people who do not mean a great deal in your life. Because those who belong to your life, literally, would never ever judge you. They have a reason for being in your life, and that reason simply is that they like you the way you are. They know the raw you and they appreciate you that way and that is the reason they don’t need to judge you. They simply accept you.
The people who would judge you are the ones who do not know the real you. So how does that matter actually of what they think about you? No matter how much you try, there would always be someone who would judge you, speak shit about you, and declare to dislike you. May be they have their reasons, but whatever it is, that does not and should not bother you as those people are least important in your life. No matter what you do, where you reach, you always have to face criticism. You can never please everyone. There would always be a lack in you for fulfilling the expectations of others. Then why to try? Why to run behind people to please them? Why to fear people those who do not matter to you and limit your life because of them?
Just because of this fear, many times we fail to bring the best in ourselves. What will people think of me if I do this? – This is one such question that does not only block you from doing what you wish to but also it snatches away your freedom to live your life the way you want to. This question that unconsciously dwells fear in you, limit you in your own precincts. You become jailed in your own created boundaries. To overcome this, you need to break those precincts that hold you back and accept that people will say what they have to and they would judge your life the way they want to. No matter how hard you try, this is going to happen. Then why to fear the inevitable?
Don’t take shit from people, don’t give them either. Live your life without the fear of being judged and do what you wish to do. But in this lieu, don’t forget to be yourself because once you try to be someone you are not, you cheat no one but yourself. It’s you who lose yourself behind that fake mask of boldness you have put on. Don’t do that either. Because, once lost, it is difficult to get back the same as gone.
Some other time, the fear of losing too takes over our senses making us lose our confidence in what we are meant to do the best. Well, that is quite natural. A tinge of fear is good for the performance. But when the fear evolves out to be intense and dense, it breaks and shatters your confidence and you end up doing your worst instead of otherwise. This applies in relationships too. When the fear of losing your partner rips inside you, you are meant to go protective, possessive, and clingy, and that eventually makes your fear come true. You lose the one you never wished to. What makes that fear turn to reality? It’s the fear itself.
This is one such fear that snatches away the right of feeling the joy of winning from you. It clouds you with the thought of losing in such a way, that you give up on trying itself let alone winning. Just when you feel this fear ripping through you, jerk yourself and let yourself know – you are not the one to fear the setback, you are the one who once fallen would stand, brush off the dirt, take a deep breath, and give a run, again! Because you are meant to be Fearless, and not a loser.
While for the fear of uncertain future, each of us would be having different worries to deal with in the coming moments. But fearing what is yet to come, takes away what is on hand now. No one knows what is in store for tomorrow. May be you won’t get a chance to meet that uncertainty you are worried for, or may be if you meet it, you would have enough strength to deal with it then. Then why to waste the present thinking about it? Life is ‘now’ and not ‘then’. If you cannot respect, appreciate, and live now, you won’t ever be able to live your life because the then you are waiting for would be nothing but a now someday.
If you think you are the only one with these fearing thoughts, let me tell you, there are many to accompany. However, we have to understand that excess of it can destruct our own self. We are the creator of these fears and we give it the power to extinguish the desire of living our life off the tamed protocols. On realizing, we need to destruct the boundaries we our self create and we need to win over the fears within us by facing them, by standing strong in no matter what intensity storm that passes by, by living the way we want to, by taking the responsibilities of the happenings of our life, and just that way, being Fearless – because just as it is said, Absence of fear is not being Fearless; it is conquering your fears making you that Fearless!
“Fear is a cage you build yourself. For all your life, either you can choose to stay captured within or you can choose to escape and fly out to the world that awaits for you to be seen.”