Evaluated Love? 8

You must have come across many people complaining about the hurtful side effects of being in love. But in real, being in love can never cause problems. Never at all. Judging it, Weighing it, Analysing it, Checking it, CAN!

For the first time when you fall in love, the euphoria is extravagant. The love hormone oxytocin overpowers almost every ill and stale chemical in you. Be it, that very first “Good Morning” message, that very first “Virtual Kiss”, or that very first eye contact after confession, the world seems to be worth to live with. Suddenly out of nowhere every piece of puzzle starts falling into its quadrant. One starts noticing the dew over a leaf and thereby breathes the nature in every form. This euphoria continues, till things keep on happening anew.

Then, there comes a phase when these emotions shape into our habits. It may be the habit of calling your lover at eleven in the night daily, even if there is nothing to talk about. Or meeting every evening after the office, or sending the same “Good Morning” message even when the morning has nothing good to offer. This is when you have practiced so much of love, that probably you’ve stopped realizing the feel of it.


It’s like the difference between the first kiss and the tenth one, the emotion exist, but it is so much practiced that it doesn’t feel like it did when it happened for the first time.

This difference is where we start Evaluating the person, not that love vanishes, but the oxytocin effect loses its impact. The same extravagant euphoria becomes too heavy to handle. But well, anything which is evaluated will naturally result in positive as well as negative outcomes. Nothing is this world has ever been Perfect, as “Perfection is a very subjective term”. Perfection, for different people has different definitions.

If the outcome of the evaluation is negative, which in most cases is,then you start losing interest in the person. The good then, isn’t good enough now, simply because what you experienced before was great. But now that you have started evaluating, you find imperfections, and that results in distance.

Why does this happen? What is it that makes us so Inhuman to let our loved ones go away? Why does the I in us becomes so important that we choose to live alone but not to bend? Why do we restrict ourselves in the urge of being with that person only, knowing that love has many more forms?

The list of such questions is unending, but the answer to all of it is only one.

We implicitly get attracted to Rain, to storm, to volcanoes, to whirlpools, to flowers, to trees. Why is it so? It is because, these are in the most pure and unadulterated form – so is Love.

Until you evaluate it, it stays beautiful. But the day you start questioning it, it is nothing but a burden to bore.

Let’s not contaminate it by putting a question mark ? on it, knowing that it is nothing but an ! Exclamation to wonder and awe.


– Manthan Shah

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8 thoughts on “Evaluated Love?

  • kumar

    Useless Blog.. first of all who ever wrote this blog, should stop writing.. reason is you tried to be smart using too many jargons, If your english is good does not mean that you are good writer, Write something which is understandable by common people like me…i have to keep my dictionary with me while i was reading this blog. and could not able to connect. have you ever read book of chetan bhagat? if yes learn from him.. However i tried to understand this blog..and i have question for you,,, if you like someone too much but other person does not care about you at that time what to do? i have approached a girl, she rejected me,, it was so hurtful,., i am sure if some handsome and rich boy have approached to the same girl, she would have accepted it,,, love is all crap,,,love is temporary if you love to someone because someone is rich and handsome,,…thats it,,anyways i am sorry i have read this blog,,,it would have been better if i would have seen pogo.. instead of this,,,lol thanks

    • Drishti Dasgupta Post author

      Hi. Well, this is a guest post /reader post. Not written by any author or an experienced blogger. The intention behind this post was only to express ones thoughts and ideas. Yes, the writer of this post may have failed to have that impact on readers, due to its not so impacting narration, but however, the message was pure and straight that love should never be evaluated.
      As you have mentioned about the girl, I would like to say that there may be several reasons for the rejection. Not necessary that she would accept the one who is rich or handsome. She may have her reasons that you may never know. So it’s better to not judge or evaluate any one. (No offence to your personal emotions although).
      Lastly, this post simply say – that when you start evaluating,you simply adulterate a pure emotion like love.
      Thanks 🙂

      • kumar

        Thanks 🙂 Just one suggestion, i tried to forget that girl, but somehow i am unable to do it. 🙁 Should i forget that girl? or should i try every possible thing to impress her? i am ready to do anything for her, but since she is not ready, i cant force her too no 🙁 what to do tell me, please 🙂 i know the question i have asked which is not related to the blog which you have posted, but will be awesome if you can give me the answer of above 🙂

        • Drishti Dasgupta Post author

          When someone says No – they mean it. Forcing her or pushing yourself harder to impress her would do nothing good to you but only loss – you will just lose the respect that she holds for you. I hope you won’t want that.

  • kumar

    Thanks, Dhristy

    OK, I should not bother her for the same again but i love her so much. Anyways, thanks for suggestions, i will wait for someone special who will love me too. 🙂 and YES who will have similar hair and eyes 😛