You must have come across many people complaining about the hurtful side effects of being in love. But in real, being in love can never cause problems. Never at all. Judging it, Weighing it, Analysing it, Checking it, CAN!
For the first time when you fall in love, the euphoria is extravagant. The love hormone oxytocin overpowers almost every ill and stale chemical in you. Be it, that very first “Good Morning” message, that very first “Virtual Kiss”, or that very first eye contact after confession, the world seems to be worth to live with. Suddenly out of nowhere every piece of puzzle starts falling into its quadrant. One starts noticing the dew over a leaf and thereby breathes the nature in every form. This euphoria continues, till things keep on happening anew.
Then, there comes a phase when these emotions shape into our habits. It may be the habit of calling your lover at eleven in the night daily, even if there is nothing to talk about. Or meeting every evening after the office, or sending the same “Good Morning” message even when the morning has nothing good to offer. This is when you have practiced so much of love, that probably you’ve stopped realizing the feel of it.
It’s like the difference between the first kiss and the tenth one, the emotion exist, but it is so much practiced that it doesn’t feel like it did when it happened for the first time.
This difference is where we start Evaluating the person, not that love vanishes, but the oxytocin effect loses its impact. The same extravagant euphoria becomes too heavy to handle. But well, anything which is evaluated will naturally result in positive as well as negative outcomes. Nothing is this world has ever been Perfect, as “Perfection is a very subjective term”. Perfection, for different people has different definitions.
If the outcome of the evaluation is negative, which in most cases is,then you start losing interest in the person. The good then, isn’t good enough now, simply because what you experienced before was great. But now that you have started evaluating, you find imperfections, and that results in distance.
Why does this happen? What is it that makes us so Inhuman to let our loved ones go away? Why does the I in us becomes so important that we choose to live alone but not to bend? Why do we restrict ourselves in the urge of being with that person only, knowing that love has many more forms?
The list of such questions is unending, but the answer to all of it is only one.
We implicitly get attracted to Rain, to storm, to volcanoes, to whirlpools, to flowers, to trees. Why is it so? It is because, these are in the most pure and unadulterated form – so is Love.
Until you evaluate it, it stays beautiful. But the day you start questioning it, it is nothing but a burden to bore.
Let’s not contaminate it by putting a question mark ? on it, knowing that it is nothing but an ! Exclamation to wonder and awe.
– Manthan Shah